Love

Written by Grace Pow
 
It seems that our generation has a special characteristic, i.e. we never acknowledge our own accomplishments. When someone praises us, our first response is to be ‘modest’ and deny our ability to perform well.
 
Our parents always believe that it is our responsibility to do well since we were little. Schools also kept reminding us that we must be humble. So when we receive compliments, we usually feel quite awkward. Many of us may even come up with 100,000 reasons for improvement. We never praise ourselves in front of relatives or friends because we do not want others to think we are boastful.
 
This ‘no compliment, be humble’ phenomenon has been my life motto until a few years ago. One day, my new boss only gave me two words as her feedback on my proposal – ‘Well Done.’ Without hesitation, I responded by telling her there was still room for improvement.
 
Surprised, my boss asked me why I did not recognise my good job. At that moment, I did not know how to respond but just thanked her. After returning to my office, I recalled her compliments feeling so warm-hearted. Then I pondered over her question, ‘Why don’t you accept your own good performance?’
 
After a short while, I attended a workshop on positive education with a few. An instructor showed us a PowerPoint slide with a small black dot on a white background and asked what we could see. The majority, including myself, told him we saw a small black dot. I thought it was such a simple and funny question.  The instructor then asked why we just focused on the small dot instead of the white background. It was just like we tend to focus on our weaknesses instead of our strengths.
 
He then added that accepting effective self-praise and compliments can increase our self-confidence and improve our work quality. It can also enhance our personal relationships and make us happier which is good for our wellbeing.
 
I finally understand why some of my friends are still so dynamic when facing new challenges after their retirement. Modesty is a virtue. However, if we keep underestimating or denying our ability, it will bring us negative emotions and hinder our progress.
 
Let’s start recognising our accomplishments. We can try to reflect on what we have done before we sleep and give ourselves ‘a loving heart’, e.g.
 

 
Though these are all daily trivial matters, they can indeed help enhance our happiness if we praise ourselves or accept compliments for what we have done.