Everyone is bound to have good times and hard times. When hard times come, it is important that we are able to share with someone whom we trust. However, trust does not come naturally or quickly. Even within a family and with all good intentions on all parties, sometimes it may still not be easy to communicate with each other heart-to-heart.
Tips to facilitate communication
Do you have difficulty making the other party believe that you understand how he feels? Here are some tips for you.
Listen actively through the right kind of body language, the appropriate use of open-ended questions and follow-up questions, and checking and clarifying understanding of what he thinks and how he feels.Play the role of "tree hole" and let him know that you are ready to share with him.
Show your empathy
In the process of talking, try not to judge or evaluate. Put yourself in his shoes and reflect his feelings. You will find that you understand him much more.
Avoid giving comments hastily
During the conversation, avoid rushing into giving comments or suggesting what he should go without getting a full picture of his needs and what he himself likes to achieve. Make the other party understand that you are willing to accept what he says. Giving comments and suggestions too hastily will make the person afraid to express what he himself wants. It is only when the person is ready to accept advice that you start to explore all possible options with him.
It is also useful to share your own similar experiences at the suitable time to stimulate conversation and provoke thoughts. Trust can be built up when the other party finds that you are willing to share with him your own experiences. The sharing should be simple and appropriate. Do not use the opportunity to boost your own success.
Avoid patronizing others
When we communicate with a person who is unhappy, it is quite natural that we use words aiming to encourage him or her. But some expressions can be self-defeating, giving rise to a negative effect, such as “You shouldn’t be unhappy. That will you’re your family very worried”, or “I have told you. Had you followed my advice, you would not have come to a situation like this’, or “This is such a small thing.”
These expressions are denial of the emotions and judgmental, making the person even less confident about himself. We must also try to avoid giving speeches on principles. Communication is sharing and acceptance.
Address the needs of the other party
During the conversation, the listener may try to paraphrase the main conversation of the other party on his own words as well as reflecting the feeling of the person. Apart from showing that you are listening to him/her seriously, you could also clarify the imply meaning of conversation with the other party. Besides, let the person reflects on what does he/she really want at that moment. Therefore, you would be easier to address the needs of the other party.
The above tips are more about the change of mindset. If you are willing to give your helping hands through the appropriate responses, you will find that they can become much more confident in themselves and in others. When a person is prepared to share with you by speaking out, in fact half of the problem is solved!